By: Josie Mojica
Let me be the first to say that recognizing perfectionism vs. healthy striving within oneself is incredibly difficult. I’ve always been pretty goal oriented but as I’ve obtained some of my goals like getting married and graduating college, I have to be cautious to not join the “just the next thing” train. What I mean by that is the thought process that is obsessed with achieving the next thing. When my thinking reflects this pattern I realize I become dissatisfied with where I am in the present moment which ultimately leads me to de-value God in my life. I quickly begin to realize that my standards are just that.. mine not God’s. In a world of influencers who tell you to “Visit this place!” or “Buy this product!” or “This is how relationships should be” you begin to distance yourself from your own personal values, beliefs, and preferences to fit the standards of others. Ultimately, you lose yourself which is why acceptance of who you are as you are, is key to finding healthy striving.
While healthy striving can motivate us to achieve our goals and reach our fullest potential, perfectionism often leads to unattainable standards and relentless self-criticism. In this blog post, we'll explore the distinction between perfectionism and healthy striving, and how to recognize the difference in our own lives.
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is characterized by setting excessively high standards for oneself and experiencing intense self-criticism when those standards aren't met. It often stems from a fear of failure or a desire for external validation. Perfectionists tend to see mistakes as personal failures and struggle to accept anything less than flawless outcomes. Perfectionist tendencies fuels maladaptive beliefs such as “I’m a failure” or “I’m not enough.” Perfectionism has continued to increase amongst college students through the years and continues to be a source of stress, anxiety, and depression.
What is Healthy Striving?
Healthy striving, on the other hand, involves setting ambitious yet realistic goals and working diligently towards achieving them. It's about striving for excellence while acknowledging that perfection is neither achievable nor necessary. Individuals who engage in healthy striving are motivated by growth and self-improvement rather than fear of failure or perfection.
How do i recognize the difference?
Motivation:
Perfectionism is often driven by fear of failure or a desire for external validation.
Healthy striving is motivated by a genuine desire for self-improvement and personal growth.
Standards:
Perfectionists set impossibly high standards for themselves and others, often leading to chronic stress and dissatisfaction.
Individuals engaged in healthy striving set challenging yet attainable goals that push them out of their comfort zone without sacrificing their well-being.
Response to Failure:
Perfectionists view failure as evidence of personal inadequacy and respond with harsh self-criticism.
Those practicing healthy striving see failure as a natural part of the learning process and an opportunity for growth and self-reflection.
Self-Worth:
Perfectionists tie their self-worth to their achievements and external validation, leading to a fragile sense of self-esteem.
Individuals engaged in healthy striving have a more stable sense of self-worth that is not contingent on external accomplishments.
Flexibility:
Perfectionists are rigid in their pursuit of perfection, often unwilling to deviate from their predetermined course of action.
Those practicing healthy striving are adaptable and open to feedback, willing to adjust their approach in response to changing circumstances.
Conclusion:
While both perfectionism and healthy striving involve pursuing excellence, they differ significantly in their underlying motivations, standards, and responses to failure. By recognizing the difference between the two and cultivating a mindset of healthy striving, we can pursue our goals while maintaining our mental and emotional well-being. If you recognize some of these beliefs and characteristics within yourself, it may be beneficial to meet with a counselor to begin the healing journey to freedom and acceptance of yourself. Remember, we are about progress, not perfection!
“Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Additional reads:
3 Reasons Why Prioritizing Your Mental Health As a College Student is Crucial
Building Healthy Relationships in College
Exam Anxiety and Strategies for College Students
INTERESTED IN GETTING STARTED WITH A THERAPIST IN TAMPA, FL?
Perfectionism can be a hinderance for anyone. Our therapists can offer support from our North Tampa, FL office and our South Tampa, FL office. To start prioritizing your mental health, follow these simple steps:
Contact Christian Counseling of Tampa or call us at 813-254-3200
Schedule to meet with one of our counselors at our North or South office.
Start learning how to address anxiety and perfectionism.
OTHER SERVICES OFFERED WITH CHRISTIAN COUNSELING OF TAMPA
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