Paige sat in my office looking scared and overwhelmed. She had been married for a little over a year and her relationship was not going as she had hoped.
She shared with tears that she was not a good wife. Also, she found it difficult to make decisions around the house and at work even over the most basic things. She also shared that sometimes when her husband touched her, she felt scared and didn't understand why. Paige said that her husband always treated her with kindness and was respectful. She felt confused, needed help, and did not know where to turn for answers.
Paige did not understand she was experiencing a reaction to previous traumas in her life. It can be difficult for someone to determine when they need help for reactions they do not understand.
Here are some thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that may signal it would be helpful to seek more support including trauma therapy.
You have reactions to stressors that are greater than your normal reaction.
When people experience trauma, they respond to stressors in the present with greater intensity than the situation requires. They are responding to the stress of the current situation and the stress they experienced in the past at the same time. I often hear people state they're confused by their reactions because they don’t “make sense.”
You have issues setting personal boundaries, including over or under-enforcement of boundaries.
Trauma survivors often have a history of underreacting or overreacting in relationships. They may have difficulty saying no to obviously excessive requests from others. Or, they may act guarded and suspicious of everyone. They may also share far too many details about their lives. Or, they may be restrictive with the amount of information they are willing to share. Even when people are trying to help them.
You hold strict personal beliefs or find it hard to view experiences from other perspectives.
Traumatic experiences often cause people to hold strict beliefs about themselves and the world. They may believe they will never be loved, be good enough, or deserve care from others. They may also believe that the world is a dangerous place and that others are quick to take advantage of them.
You often find yourself avoiding emotions or body sensations.
Present situations that remind a trauma survivor of the feelings and body sensations they experienced during a traumatic event are often strongly avoided. As a result, they may decide not to go to an event at the last minute. This may be because they are trying to avoid unwanted feelings or emotions. They may also look uncomfortable or on edge in situations while others around them look completely at ease.
You experience confusion about current or past events or have gaps in memory.
A trauma survivor may have short gaps in their memory or not be able to account for large chunks of time. They may also experience confused states in the present and not be sure of where they are or how they got there.
You have sudden changes in feelings and behaviors that seem unpredictable.
Trauma survivors often experience sudden changes in emotions and behaviors when a situation reminds them of their past experiences. They may change from laughing to crying or from calm to alert or irritable fast. And, seemingly without warning.
There are changes in speech and mannerisms.
You or others who are close to you may notice changes in the tone of your voice. Or, mannerisms that seem unusual or “childlike”. Additionally, when a trauma survivor is willing to share part of their story it often sounds like a news article. This means facts without feelings or other details people share in “normal” stories. They feel “tight” in their chest and notice their voice is “flat” and does not change their tone.
How Trauma Therapy in Tampa, FL Can Offer Support
If you have experienced trauma, you may be wondering if you should seek support from a trained trauma counselor. It would be helpful to consider the following. If the stressor you are reacting to is easily identifiable, limited to a single aspect of life (work, school, family), and in the recent past, you may find your current systems of support to be enough. But, the problem may also seem widespread or difficult to define. It may have happened in the distant past and is affecting many areas of life. If so, you may be better served by seeking the help of a licensed counselor.
Paige’s courageous choice to seek help led her down a path of healing. In time she was able to make sense of her internal world and accept the painful events she had experienced. She learned skills that would free her from her past and enjoy her relationship with her husband.
Begin Trauma Therapy in Tampa, FL
You don't have to struggle with the pain of trauma alone. Our team of caring trauma therapists would be honored to offer support in coping with past trauma. Contact our Tampa, FL-based therapy practice to meet with a trained specialist and see if we are the right fit for you. Our team understands that you may experience other mental health issues unrelated to trauma. This is why we are happy to offer other services in support of your mental health. Other services offered by Christian Counseling of Tampa include premarital counseling, Christian counseling, therapy for anxiety, child therapy, marriage intensives, grief counseling, and therapy for depression. We use a variety of treatment modalities including CBT, EFT, ART, and more! Feel free to learn more about us by visiting our FAQ or blog today!