Having worked with couples for over 20 years, there has been such joy to be on the front row seat witnessing healing and restoration. Being used as a vessel for God to show up and work miracles is no short of fulfilling. Recently, I worked with a couple who had been married 15+ years, finally gotten to the hard-worked-for chapter of retirement, found themselves not enjoying one another during this supposedly “golden” chapter of leisure and relaxation, and now living in two different cities separated and ready to call it quits. The lawyers were hired, the papers were filled out and awaiting signatures. One reached out and posed the question, “Are we sure?”
‘Tis the season! Even though I say this, I am really not sure exactly of the meaning. I don’t really talk that way any other time of the year either. I don’t say, “‘Tis the summer,” for example. Many times, I catch myself just moving through the motions during the holidays, never really thinking about it. Don’t get me wrong, I like the welcoming warmth of what traditions bring. I am saying, though, that giving some intentional thought before the main event of the celebration season begins may help as you move through them.
For years I worked with married couples in my practice resulting in personal frustration. They wouldn’t stay for the course and quit before the momentum finally offered them relief, they got better only to see them boomerang back in six months, or there was just too much pain to commit to the process without ensuring a proper payoff. I even considered stopping working with married couples altogether.