Working in private practice in counseling for well over twenty years, I’ve seensome of the more frustrating times in couples counseling. Research has revealed that a typical couple waits approximately four years to come into counseling, despite experiencing the need earlier. Many times, by the time the couple appears in the counselor’s office, one or both of the partners have already reached a level of indifference or lack of desire to work on their relationship. This is the most challenging and scary place for couples to find themselves. By this point, their primary motive in attending counseling sometimes is checking this off their list, indicating that they tried everything, before heading to a divorce attorney.

“Ugh… You’re supposed to look less bloated in the morning, why does my stomach look so big this morning? I knew I shouldn’t have had that snack so late last night… why can’t I just have more self-control… I wonder if it’ll help if I do some crunches and push-ups before leaving” VS “Yes! I look and feel so skinny this morning… I can see my collarbones, my hip bones are starting to come back, there’s even toning in my stomach!”

Mornings were my favorite time of the day. I’m a morning person, the mirror always appeared kinder to me in the morning. I’d made a habit of standing in front of the mirror, infatuated with staring at every part of my body. There were days my face looked less swollen, my stomach less bloated, and my arms jiggled less, even my chest looked thinner.

We all at some point in our lives will have to face challenges, difficulties and loss. Grieving is a natural process that God gave us to deal with these experiences. Most people associate grief and mourning with death of a spouse, relative or someone we have a strong emotional attachment with. However there are many circumstances that might include grieving, including job loss, relationship breakups and major life changes caused by illness. In reality, any experiences or losses that affect us in a traumatic way can involve grieving.