Grief: something I wish no one ever had to deal with. At the age of 29, I never thought I would have lost two very important people in my life. I look back at how I grieved the loss of my grandmother and now my uncle, and at times I would find myself frustrated and angry with God. Frustrated of the unknown. The tests that did not get to happen, the unanswered lab results, and the other unknown questions. Although I know they are both with my heavenly Father, I was frustrated that I did not spend as much time with them, that I worked more than taking the time off to visit them. I was angry that I had to live through holidays and big events without them cheering me on or walking through the difficult parts of life with me. I was angry as I sat and watched my grandfather process through the emotions of the loss of his wife and now his oldest son. I didn’t understand why it had to happen to me and why my family had to go through the grieving process all over again.
I wish I could tell you death is full of butterflies and rainbows, but it isn’t. There are many days I wish I could be selfish and have my grandmother and uncle back with me. But in reality, we know that cannot happen.
Research states, that when you grieve you go through a process of emotions. You process through shock and denial, anger and depression, release and honor and return to love. We are human, and we all will go through each of these emotions. Some might be easier than others, but in the end I realized how great of a relief it is to be able to release and honor my grandmother and uncle.
Throughout the grieving process, I really clung to this verse:
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
I have hope because Jesus overcame death. Jesus overcame the hard days so I can overcome mine. Death isn’t easy, but because of Jesus, I have hope and joy that I will see my grandmother and uncle again in heaven. On days when I am sad, I smile because I am reminded that they 100% healed and living in eternity with my heavenly father. I am reminded that even in a time of grief and sadness that Jesus wants to walk with you through life, especially when you’re going through hard things in life like death. He wants us to find comfort in him.
Research states that the first holiday without a loved one is one of the hardest. You are not alone in your pain. If you find yourself needing to talk to someone this holiday season, please call us, so we can walk through this grieving process with you.