Rejection and Identity

By Heather Widmer, LMHC, CAP

In recent discussion I shared with a friend how, in the last year or two, I’ve encountered more and more clients who cannot answer the questions “who are you?”  and “in what do you find your value and worth?” I’ve come to realize that a history of rejection is linked and found in each individual’s past.

God never intended us to feel rejection, however rejection is truly a perfect tool that the enemy uses to cause us to not only question our identity, but to steer us away from our identity in Christ. God desires for us to know who we truly are and for us to know His love and acceptance for us. If we are not rooted in love, as God has intended, how can we truly experience all that Christ has in store for us?

Rejection can be developed from many situations including: childhood neglect/feeling unloved by primary adult figures in your life, adoption, infidelity from a partner, not feeling like you fit in amongst your peers/bullying. These situations can cause deep emotional wounds that cause individuals to, on most occasions, question themselves. Take a moment to think about a situation where you felt rejected; was one of your immediate responses to question something about yourself? Something you said? Something you did wrong or could have done differently? You can see how, even in this example, rejection impacts how a person views themselves or begins to challenge who they are.

Rejection certainly is a deep emotional wound that starves individuals from the very thing that we were created to receive from God and that we desire most: love and acceptance. If we are seeking in others for those needs to be fulfilled or for our source of identity, we face the risk of consistently feeling rejected as no one but God can define our identity and meet our every need.

Rejection and rising above it is all about identity and what you base your identity upon. The key to overcoming rejection, is to solve the identity problems. I once read “in Jesus, we do not lose our true selves; we become our true self.” There is hope through Jesus to overcome any core wounds of rejection and identity. Call us today to begin the process of healing from past rejection!