Heather Widmer

Rejection and Identity

Rejection and Identity

In recent discussion I shared with a friend how, in the last year or two, I’ve encountered more and more clients who cannot answer the questions “who are you?”  and “in what do you find your value and worth?” I’ve come to realize that a history of rejection is linked and found in each individual’s past.

God never intended us to feel rejection, however rejection is truly a perfect tool that the enemy uses to cause us to not only question our identity, but to steer us away from our identity in Christ. God desires for us to know who we truly are and for us to know His love and acceptance for us. If we are not rooted in love, as God has intended, how can we truly experience all that Christ has in store for us?

Premarital Counseling: Is It Worth It?

Premarital Counseling: Is It Worth It?

What comes to mind when I mention the words “premarital counseling”? To some, these words may trigger feelings of excitement to grow. For some, feelings of fear and not wanting to confront, and to others, possibly an assumption that something must be wrong with the relationship. These may happen and can be realities, but premarital counseling is not only necessary if you are unsure of marriage but also if you are looking to strengthen your future marriage.

It's Not All About... You

It's Not All About... You

Have you ever been in a situation that left you feeling like you did something wrong or that nothing you do is good enough? Maybe a situation that left you feeling excluded and wondering how you can fix it? What if I told you that often times situations, other’s behavior towards you, particular outcomes or whatever circumstances may actually have nothing to do with you. 

Loss Comes in Many Forms

Loss Comes in Many Forms

There’s no other way to say it, but loss is painful. When we think about loss, we most often think of an actual passing, a loss that is identified with the individual or loved one no longer being here on Earth. I’d like to point out, however, that loss comes in many forms and, often times, those losses can feel almost as significant. In fact, you are experiencing a death of some kind; one that must also be grieved.

The way our minds process grief and loss truly is interesting. I recently heard that research studies have shown through brain scans that the loss of a relationship looks the same as an addict who is experiencing withdrawal. When our brains are missing what once was, the brain will release the same chemicals that indicate a “need” for whatever that “thing” is. We miss the familiarity, the comfort, the habits and the routine that the partner, job, drug, etc provided.

Peace in the Unknown

Peace in the Unknown

Let me just get it out of the way and say everyone’s favorite word as it relates to God’s plans for their life… UNKNOWNS! Whether you are deciding on a new career, debating a move, have recently lost a loved one or are deciding on a life partner, there are always unknowns in the outcome that will occur.

It’s fair to say that resting in earthly possessions or outcomes will always leave an unsettling feeling. It is through our faith in Christ alone that we will experience a different level of peace, but connecting to this peace can still be uncomfortable!